It's How He Felt
by PunkKity
Summary: Two years flew by and here she was at U of T and there he was, being her there for her all over again. But why? She was back in his life daily now, how did he feel?  Rating may be changed later.
1. Chapter 1

**It's how he felt. **

**I do NOT own Degrassi.**

Two years had flown by and here she was standing on the front steps of Toronto University. Her parents had left after she had gotten settled in her new dorm room, however reluctant they were to let her stay in residence; they had finally agreed that it was what she needed to become a more mature women and be able to stand on her own two feet, things had changed dramatically her last two years at Degrassi. She had focused on school, especially math and science had kept her head clear and didn't date anyone, unless you counted the monthly dinners with Johnny dates...but they were just friends and he was just looking out for her.

After all during dinner they talked about everything from his girlfriend, well ex girlfriend now. Kayla. To what he or I was doing in school, he was around when I needed someone to talk to about the mess at home, or how my therapy sessions were going...when I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else. "Who is he?" I jumped at the familiar voice and looked up spotting the man I was just thinking about. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I said a smile on my lips as he raised a blonde brow and crossed his arms.

"Liar, you have that dreamy look in your eyes." I raised a brow and tilted my head slightly, causing my long black hair to roll over my shoulder and down my back. "Dreamy look?" I asked taking him in, he looked nice today, even if he was just in jeans and a t-shirt. "You get this dreamy look when you start thinking of a guy." I chuckled and walked over giving him a hug. "I didn't know you paid that much attention to me, DiMarco." He didn't comment as his strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me in for a warm hug. "Ready for your first night in the dorms?" He asked and I shook my head no. He laughed as he let me go. "You'll be fine, your roommate and you will talk all night."

"Nope, we won't, she hasn't even arrived yet." I said looping my arm through his as I lead the way down the steps; we were going out to dinner, at our place which was a great little burger joint that served a lot of different comfort foods. "Oh no a whole night alone?" He said teasingly, which cause me to pout. "I was hoping you'd watch movies with me, unless you have plans?" I didn't look at him and we didn't stop walking, but I felt him nod his head. "I think that can be arranged. " I smiled and added an extra hop to my step, even though I was wearing three inch heels.

"So, you've taken the tour, unpacked your room, and got your schedule. What are you going to do for the next three days before classes start?" I shrugged my shoulders the best I could with my arm through his. "I have no idea; maybe see if I can fine Dave?" He was the only person I knew that had come to U of T from Degrassi, Clare had been accept but in the end had chosen Gulph. Johnny was silent for a minute and I peeked up at him, he had a frown on his face. "Dave's the guy who always had a dig on you isn't he?"

I laughed softly and nodded. "Yes, but that was before Sadie Rowland, his girlfriend." He nodded his head and I couldn't help but smile as he pulled open the door to the little restaurant. Walked to our usual table and took a seat grabbing the menu. "Oh right and how are they doing?" I glanced up from my menu and smiled. "Good, Sadie will be coming on weekends." He nodded his head. "Looks like you'll have plenty to keep you busy." I set the menu down and looked at him, and I mean really looked at him. "Are you suggesting that I'll be too busy to see you Johnny?"

"Of course not Backwoods, we'll still have our middle of the month dinners." He said and I frowned leaning across the table, even ignoring the fact that doing this caused my shirt to dip a little lower than intended. "Weekly dinners, and now movie nights." I said seriously, smiling when he raised that blonde brow at me. "Weekly dinners and movie nights? I didn't agree to that Backwoods." I gave him a look and watching him take it in, take me in before he sighed. I had won. "Alright, alright. Dinner and movie nights once a week." I gave him a smile and then waited for the waiter to come take our orders.

**Later that evening.**

Johnny's P.O.V

I watched Alli spread out on her bed, the one across from her still empty, but it did say that she was supposed to have a roommate. Her laptop was in front of her and she was looking through files on it to find a movie Sav had loaded for her the last time she saw him, seeing as he was away at school as well. She wasn't paying attention to me at all, and that was fine, I could just take her in. So I did, I took in how her hair was like a long black wave over her shoulder, and her skinny jeans hugged her in all the right places.

Alliah Bhandari was gorgeous, even more so now than when she had been when I first met her, or two years ago when she came crashing into my life again...I still loved her, wanted her. I have no idea what to do about it, even with the way we flirted and she talked to me all the time... I didn't know how she felt about me anymore. I watched as she clicked on a file, then minimized everything else, spotting her back ground picture, it wasn't of her and Clare like I had originally assumed. It was of me and her over the summer during one of our dinners.

"Get over here Dimarco, you can share my bed." I smirked and nodded walking over to the bed and sitting on it, in moments we were cuddled up together watching a movie. It was a good movie even if I had missed the name so I wasn't sure what we were watching it was just nice sharing the moment with her. When the movie was finished I yawned and got off the bed stretching. "Don't go." I looked down at her she was hugging a pillow and her big brown eyes begged me to stay. "What you want to watch another movie?" I asked sitting back on her bed. "No, I don't want to sleep alone..." I sighed I could suggest we go back to my room, there were two useable beds...but she needed to get used to her room. "Just tonight Backwoods, you need to get used to this place."

She nodded her head. "Okay just tonight." She smiled and I got back up. "I'm gonna hit the bathroom, you get ready for bed." I said smiling at her as she nodded again and got up. "Okay." The entire walk to the bathroom I asked myself what on earth I was doing? Sharing a bed with Alli was crazy, especially knowing that I still had feelings for her. I used the bathroom, washed up and headed back to her room, knocking once and walking in, she was sitting in bed blankets around her and I nearly groaned.

Her pink pajama top hugged her body and I knew she was wearing shorts under the blankets. Taking my t-shirt off I placed it on the back of her computer chair and then placed my jeans over them, clad in boxer shorts I climbed into the bed.

"Move over, I'm bigger than you." She laughed softly then yawned moving closer to the wall, crawling under the blankets I smiled as she curled into me her small body fitting against mine. It was going to be a long night...was the last thing I thought before her even breathing put me to sleep.

**A/N**

**Just something small, but I will probably add a second chapter update to this at some point. Tell me what you think. **

**P. Kity. **


	2. Chapter 2

**It's how she felt**

**I do NOT own Degrassi.**

Alli stretched as she walked down the hall away from Johnny's room still clad in her pajama's plus one of his sweaters because her tank top and small shorts were 'going to give someone the wrong idea.' She had just rolled her eyes and slipped into his sweater as she walked back to her room. Classes had started two weeks ago and her roommate had shown up the day before they had started and to my surprise I knew her already, as it was Kayla...Johnny's ex. Yeah surprise. We got along for the most part, but got mad when she saw me with Johnny which was a lot...

Anyway, you're probably wondering why I am walking back from his room in pajama's? Well last night was our weekly dinner/movie night and we usually crash in whatever room we are in while we watch movies, this week was his room since Kayla had decided to stay for the weekend. She never asked where I was going, I assume she knows since I see him everyday... I kind of feel bad, I mean it's not easy having an ex flaunted in your face, but we aren't doing anything...he doesn't like me as more than a friend. I told myself that it was fine, but it wasn't and I didn't know what to do about it.

Sighing I opened the door to my room quietly and slipped inside, her bed was empty so I sighed and walked to mine, pulling my cell from the pocket of Johnny's sweater and sending him a text even though he had said he was going back to bed, it was early for a Saturday. 

"_Johnnny, it's lonely in my room and I'm still sleepy." –Alli_

I rested my phone on my belly and smiled waiting for him to get my text, he was just going to complain that it was my fault and I could have stayed in bed, after all there was nothing to do today and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. The phone vibrated and a smile instantly took over my face as I reached for the phone lifting it to read it.

"_**Backwoods...I told you to stay and go back to sleep, but no. You're on your own; I'm staying in this warm bed." –Johnny**_

I pouted and re-read the message, how mean. I could get him to come here though it was easy, clicking reply I quickly typed up a message that even Dimarco would have trouble resisting, mainly because these would be his very words thrown back at him.

"_But Johnny, if I have to walk down the hall again in my pajamas, I'm going to be giving the guys here the wrong idea. Then what? Please, come cuddle with me." –Alli_

I could practically see him frown at the text and then curse as he rolled out of bed and looked for a shirt to put on. He was usually reluctant to come to my room, I knew why and I understood, but her bed hadn't even been slept in so maybe she had gone home for the weekend or she was seeing that guy from her class again, I didn't really care either way. She had no right to be mad that he was here to see me, they broke up.

" _**Dammit Backwoods, fine this is the last time, next time you leave this early and bitch about being tired you're on your own." –Johnny**_

My laughter filled the room as I read the text, staying where I was, I knew he was probably half way here, and that the next time it would be the same, in fact I had three texts pretty much the exact same as that one. The door opened and I sat up smiling at the sleep rumpled man who walked in. "Shut up, move over and go to sleep." I snickered and did as he said, moving so I was lying in the bed properly crawling under the covers. "Shut up, come here." He said as he sat on the bed, he grabbed the edge off the sweater and pulled up and off. "You'll bitch that you're too hot." He was right I would...

But I was trying to hide my feelings about how much I liked it when he did things like that, it was like when they cuddled it just felt right to her, and she wanted him so bad. Telling herself that they were just friends, but no matter how many times she said it she still felt like they would be good together now. Mumbling a thank you she laid down and turned on her side smiling into her pillow when an arm wrapped around her middle and pulled her close. "Go to sleep, Backwoods."

**Hours later. **

I woke up to people arguing in hushed tones, blinking she rolled over and looked at Johnny who was standing in the defence position glaring at Kayla. "I don't like when you're here, especially when I have to come in and see you two sharing a bed. It's disgusting." I frowned and closed my eyes, hoping they thought I was still asleep. "How is it disgusting Kayla? We were sleeping and even if it was anything more it's none of your business." I waited to hear her reasoning since she had never asked me not to bring him here I never really thought it was an issue...apparently it was.

"She's only eighteen, and she's your ex. She's the reason we ended." My age had been an issue to Johnny before, but he never said anything now, in fact he'd taken me out on my birthday this year...So why these things bothered Kayla I had no idea, as for the last part that was a lie. How could I have been the reason? They broke up while I was still at Degrassi. "I knew she was a problem, when she showed up here before." He shook his head. "She was never a problem Kayla, you were. Your lack of trust in me, in our relationship...No you put the strain on it."

"Then how come, she was all you could talk about? You said it was done, but when she left it was like she was still here...and then you agreed to see her for dinner once a month?" I bit my lip, he never said that I had cause problems for them...and I wondered if they would still be together if I hadn't shown up. "Kayla, I told you how things were with me and her, I told you how I felt when she showed up...it was my chance to make things right and I'm glad I took it, Als is a great girl, and dinner once a month was a way to be her friend again..."I smiled a bit he was so good to me. "You love her Johnny."

The room was silent the words hanging in the air, he didn't deny or agree. "That has nothing to do with it Kayla, you treated her like crap before you knew who she was." I squeezed my eyes closed, why were they talking about this with me right here? I didn't need to know that my roommate for the rest of the year hated me. "You acted like you needed to save her Johnny, like it was more important than us." I couldn't see what was going on since my eyes where closed but knowing Johnny I knew he shrugged. "And now I have to see you together? You're twenty two messing around with an eighteen year old."

"I'm not messing with her Kayla, we sleep in the same bed but nothing else has happened, and you know what I am twenty two and she is eighteen. But she's smart and mature and knows what she wants, which isn't me." I frowned; he obviously was pretty oblivious... "You, Johnny Dimarco are a jerk and I hope you are very happy with your floozy over there."

"She's not a floozy, Kayla. There is no need to be rude, Alli is a great girl and you could be friends with her if you made an effort. But whatever don't take your anger out on her." I heard a huff and then the door closing. A second later the bed dipped and I felt him lay down beside me. "Did you enjoy what you heard?" I tried to pretend I was sleeping so that he wouldn't ask again, but he knew I was awake. "I think you're oblivious if you think I don't want you." I had been thinking that, but apparently the filter between my mouth and brain was broken...

"Wait...what?"Johnny asked and I could feel him turn to look at me, opening my eyes I looked up and met blue. "I said I think you're oblivious if you think I don't want you." He frowned and looked at me funny. "You do?" Rolling my eyes I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Yes, for the last two years..."I didn't get to say anything else because his lips met mine and we were kissing feverishly. "Good to have you back, Backwoods." And just like that we were together again.

**A/N **

**All finished, I hope you all enjoyed this; it was nice to be writing again. Anyway. Review. **

**And I'd like to shout out to Newlovegirl...I believe I got that right for being one of the most dedicated readers I have, much love to you all. **

**xoxo**


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